I remember eighth-grade reading class like it was yesterday. We were assigned a chapter or two of “To Kill A Mockingbird” each night, which I would then read so I could, you know, pass the class. But when I showed up the next day and revealed that I read the chapters, shock would abound. I was called a “try-hard” and “teacher’s pet” for doing the bare minimum.
These names got on my nerves not only because they were directed at me, but also because of what they insinuated. Was it now undesirable to put forth effort? Was it uncool to be invested in my education?
I decided I would never call someone a “try-hard”. Putting in effort was something to be admired, after all.
But something changed when I got to high school and joined track. Between my bony legs and piercing shin splints, I was sometimes barely able to complete the workouts– yet I watched upperclassmen sprint across the track with ease. Ugly emotions began to fill my chest, and a label I had vowed never to use popped into my brain: “try-hards”.
Suddenly, I got it. I understood why everyone acted like not caring was the cool thing to do. Confessing that you care makes you vulnerable. If I had admitted how much I cared about running, only to fail over and over again, my self-esteem would be crushed. Thinking of my successful teammates as try-hards was a defense mechanism. As Sonam Pelden said on Medium, “Rather than work hard and risk a possible failure, we emphasize our lack of ambition to make the case that we could succeed if we’d cared– but caring isn’t cool.”
This needs to change. We young people need to recognize that it’s okay to be invested in our academics, athletics, or personal relationships, even if success is not guaranteed. It’s okay to put our whole hearts into something. It is okay– even admirable– to care.
Because pretending like we don’t is taking its toll. An article published in the University of Connecticut’s student newspaper pointed out how young people’s obsession with detachment is affecting their relationships: “This is the generation of situationships after all, of low commitment, low stakes, of ‘attracting not chasing’, of weird middle grounds and keeping the cards close to your chest while trying to figure out what the other person wants first.”
Gen Z has forgotten how to commit fully to anything. We don’t express the true depth of our emotions, afraid of being seen as “too much.” We don’t admit our ambitions, afraid of the failure that will inevitably come at some point in our lives. And it’s preventing us from living our life to the fullest. We’re failing to connect in our personal relationships, to succeed in our professional and academic lives, and even to feel. We’re terrified of failing at something we care about– but what we should be afraid of is failing to care at all.
Let’s stop pretending that it’s cool to lack emotions or ambitions. Let’s stop making fun of our friends when they cry during a movie. Let’s stop heckling the kids who spend hours studying because they want good grades (read: me). Let’s recognize that life requires intention.
History has been built by people who put in the effort. Martin Luther King, Jr. didn’t become a fierce civil rights leader by being nonchalant. Charles Darwin didn’t develop his theory of evolution by acting like science wasn’t a big deal. Joan of Arc didn’t lead the French to victory by saying, “Whatever, it’s not that important if we lose.” No. These people put their blood, sweat, and tears into what they cared about. They may have failed at first, but they knew that their mission was important, so they kept trying. They kept caring.
Our world has been improved tenfold because someone, somewhere, decided that they gave a hoot– whether about scientific discoveries, equal rights, or their country. Being invested is what makes life worth living. As novelist William Saroyan said: “Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might.” To be wholly alive, you must get emotionally attached. You must put in the work. You must have ambitions you are desperate and willing to chase.
That’s why I still read the assigned chapters, and why I now put in hours at the gym during the summer, and why I study for all my tests. It’s because I want to be wholly alive. And I urge you to do the same.
Be a try-hard. You’ll get much more out of life that way.
